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Today was a rough day. People hadn’t been kind to me, and I was affected. I had been practicing meditation, awareness, spiritually grow myself for quite some time now, but I was still affected.

And I believe I’m not the only meditator who feels this frustration- this frustration that we still haven’t reap the results despite all the effort.

But looking back, especially comparing my emotions and reactions to similar situations of the past, I then truly realized how much I’ve grown. Maybe in the past I would have thrown a book across the hall at that person, or sworn to kick the person in the ass when I got the chance to. But now, even though I’m still a little upset, I sympathize with the other person, and feel sorry he couldn’t see things in a different light and let go of that unhappiness.

So, to those out there who feels a little stuck, look back and see how far you’ve come- that would give you a big motivation to carry on. 🙂

Now, back into the topic- Wisdom

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I’ve gotten this book from Kong Meng San Temple, and it’s been very helpful. I had been a meditator for a while now, and things doesn’t seem to progressing. I came across this free book at the temple and seems like the Universe knows just what I need. I’ve shared a little with my boyfriend (when I’m only one-third into the book) and it’s helping with his progress tooo.

There are many types of meditations around, and most of them helps to calms the mind, let go of the tension and anxiety, and basically feels peaceful and happier. But all that goes down the drain when we are faced with defilements- that nasty boss at work, the gossipy co-worker, that rude person you met on the train who refuses to apologize to you even though he was the one who didn’t watch his way. Rather than being calmer, sometimes we feel even more agitated.

That’s when awareness comes in- we watch our own emotions when that happens, but instead of getting affected, we standing aside and watch it like a third party.

And yes, I know how it sounds- it either sounds highly impossible, or you’ve heard of it from other self-help books, but just doesn’t know how. But when you are able to do this- it means you are in control of yourself, rather than letting your emotions control you. Remember that time you you flared up, but wishing you hadn’t? Yes, that was you letting your emotions take charge.

When you are able to let your emotions rise while you watch it intently, you start to collect “data”. Why am I feeling so angry when he says that? I realized my breathes become shallow when I’m feeling intense. When you are more aware of yourself, you are able to observe and understand what gets on your nerves.

When that happens, ask yourself questions (or when you are meditating)- why did I feel so angry? Why do I feel insulted? Am I an insecure person? When you start to understand why and have insights to yourself, you grow wisdom.

When wisdom grow, you let go of unnecessary burdens, and challenging situations no longer drives you up the wall. Instead, you are able to see others who are still stuck in these vicious cycles, and just like you watching your emotions, you will be able to watch them like a third party out of this unhappy picture. 🙂

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