I used to be this huge thinker- I think about everything. I can just walked down the street saw a man slipping a coffee alone at the coffee stall and my mind would start to go to work. Maybe his wife doesn’t know he’s here, maybe they had a fight. Or maybe he doesn’t even have a partner, gosh he doesn’t look good. My mind seems to go to work automatically, independently- guessing, interpreting, judging.
Even for my everyday-life decision, simple decisions like should I go for a coffee break now? Gosh I have so much to do, but I’m so tired, Will my boss catch me? How long should I take this break? Should I really go?
I know this might sound like a normal conversation in most people’s mind, but guess what? It’s unhealthy, especially over-relying on your brain this much.
We all have the wrong perception that we are our mind, because that’s the smartest part of our body and it controls our every sensory, actions etc, right? No.
We are not our mind, it is merely a great tool like every other organs of our body- kidney, liver, heart and so on. Little did you know, you allow your mind to take over and become the only essential thing in your life.
Ever since civilization, we use our brain to study, to practice math, memorize English words, learn a different language- and it seems like only the person with the best brain around can survive. The next moment I know people are building great architectures around the world, because they use their mind to learn them in school. Even I have to use the words I memorized when I was a kid to write this blog.
But guess what- we overused it in all areas. Being the smartest creature on earth, being smart is probably our downfall as well.
Let’s use the most straightforward example- Love. Love is a simple thing. We are born with the ability to love. Most kids would go when I grow up, I wana be together with the person I love to grow old with. It’s simple, it’s sweet, it’s what life is about.
Then when we grew a bit older, we look at something a little different. We want our partner to have looks, money, career, etc etc. Then before you know it, it’s not about love anymore. We control our emotions not to fall in love with that tramp because he can’t promise a good future, and scheme our way through to get the attention of that millionaire, hopefully he will fall in love with you. Because our mind says, if you want a good life, you need a person with bucks.
And eventually, after you’ve gotten what your mind tells you you should do, you are not happy, because there is no love.
People choose to major a certain subject at school because there would be a market for it, I will never be out of a job.
People choose to marry a certain people because they give them life stability.
People choose to not change their job even though they hate them, because the job market is so bad.
People never stop to smell flowers or look into the sky, because it’s a simply waste of time.
But before you even know it, you own an unhappy life. An unhappy life that you self-handedly created.
Ultimately, we all will go down as ashes one day. What’s after-life, or is there an after-life? What’s the great big deal about this life on earth? I don’t know, and certainly as well, your mind will not know. Maybe someone told you something, but you won’t know first-hand for sure until you are there.
But what we know is, this life of yours will end one day (unless we become immortal like vampires), and when it’s not happy, it’s not worth living.
So do yourself a favor and stop over-thinking it.
Just the other day, a friend of mine is was sick and tired of unable to find a partner and kept asking why, and all I know her head is just so tightly-knotted that she won’t figure out anyway. Yet I look into the sky with all the wave of clouds that just don’t make any sense, yet I feel a swirl of happiness within me.
She asked me why, I said, I don’t know. I’m just happy.
But I do know, if you stop thinking and start to feel, what the unexplainable, will make absolute sense to you.