Sorry for the lack of posts for the last few days, I wasn’t in my tip-top condition and wasn’t very inspired. I don’t think what I’d write when I’m not inspired won’t be very inspiring anyway.
When I was very young, I remember my father was always a person who is not afraid of asking. However, in Asian culture, if you ask for more than you deserve (which nobody actually define how much is considered deserving), you are considered ‘thick-skinned’, which kinda means you ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking for something so big in the first place.
But nonetheless, he didn’t take such crap. He asked whenever and whatever he want, and I actually picked that up. So on my twelfth birthday, I went to school and asked my teacher can I have a present for my birthday. My teacher, for whatever reason which I didn’t know even till this date, didn’t said no, nor did she get me a present. Turned out, the whole class knew about it and made fun of me, commented that I am ‘thick-skinned’ and I ought to be ashamed of myself.
And I actually took it very hard, I really felt very ashamed and belittled, and from then onwards, I feel that we shouldn’t ask for stuffs, because they will come to us when we are deserving. For example, you will get your present when you scored well for your exams. And what I guess is that, you are more liking to think you are only deserving when you do something good, rather than you are rewarded when you do something amazing.
And I don’t agree with the inherited belief system that we gotten from our culture. Because by default, we would think that we are not deserving enough, rather than I am already good enough, but I will continue to accomplish something even more amazing now. Therefore, we don’t even dare to ask for something that we yearn for.
Though I do have the belief I’m not deserving enough to ask, it wasn’t actually as bad as what a friend of mine experienced. He was always hit by his mom whenever he asked for anything that he want. He said his family was poor and couldn’t afford a lot of things, but hitting a kid is totally unacceptable to me. So he resisted a lot from asking. When he can get things done himself, he’d do it. He stopped asking for things, or help, at all.
But in this world, everything is interconnected. Asking, is part of the law of giving and receiving. We can never do and accomplish every single thing on our own. We need help at times, and we are deserving of help.
If you have the negative energy about asking, think back who gave you that idea in the first place. It might be your parents, school, friends, or it’s simply just a culture. Like people in my town don’t take asking for a favour so well, they scowl at you and say no in a nasty way. And being rejected tooo many times do bad things to your system.
So it’s not just about not afraid to ask, but not letting the rejections get to you. We might be in the right mindset and condition, but the person you are asking might not be. And even said, rejection might just mean you ain’t looking at the right place. Continue to ask for what you want until you get it, or reflect on the thing that you actually want.
If you have something in mind, go for it. Don’t let any inherit belief get to you, nor let any criticism or shame stop you. Open your door, and ask. 😉