What if you were always in the perfect situation?

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Have you ever wondered that to yourself?

What if I was born with a silver spoon?
What if I hit the genetic jackpot?
What if I was born clever?
What if I was raised by reasonable parents who taught me the right values?
What if I was always surrounded by people who cherish and love me, and I feel the same for them too?

What if those were true… where will I be now instead of… here?

I asked myself those questions whenever things started going south. I asked why am I not equipped with abundance of financials like some others out there? Why do I keep meeting people who take me for granted when I genuinely gave them my heart?

I believe most of us ain’t the top of the bunch, nor are we at the bottom. But this disease of comparison happens to the best of us. And the truth is- even if you are in the most perfect situation, if your heart wasn’t right, it’s not gonna lead you to the right place either. And in fact, with ampleness and wrong intention, things could go downhill faster than you could imagine.

So, instead of engrossed in thoughts of why weren’t you blessed, focus on yourself- your personality, your character, your heart. Things might not improve as fast as if you were equipped, but it will improve alright. So stop blaming, keep going.

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Hey look, that grass is greener!

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Are you one of those people who are always thinking how good would it be if you go with the other choice? Do you go out with someone, and when the dishes came, you can’t stop eyeing at what the other person ordered and thought his/hers is better?

Maybe it had became a pattern, maybe I didn’t have a positive mind to begin with, but I’m bringing this offender of my positive life to light and I have to address this now.

As everyone knows- there’s a flip side to every coin. For the coins in Singapore, in front, you get to know how much the coin cost along with a beautiful national icon or landmark of Singapore. On the other side, you get the symbolic Coat of Arms, and the year which the coin was born.

Which is more beautiful, you ask? If you were to only choose to have one, which will you choose?

There’s no denying there’s beauty to either side of it, but if you choose to see only what you lose out after you made your choice, then for sure there is no beauty in whatever you choose.

The good thing about these coins though, is if you own one, you get both sides to it. However, in life, we can’t have it all. We have limited time, and only one presence. So instead of focusing what you are losing out, why not choose to be present, choose to be happy and satisfied with the choice you made? Because what you choose not to be grateful for today, might not even be there tomorrow.

So let’s make a pact with ourselves, shall we?

One thing at a time

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I need to write about this- after reading this article, I realised I’ve been one of the offenders for a very long time. I’ve been watching movie while doing my weekly ironing, browsing social media while having my meals, watching youtube videos while pooping (admit it, you must have done it at least once in your life).

So who else is a culprit of these bad habits?

While there is a voice pecking at the back of my head that these bad habits really have to stop, I just couldn’t bring myself to. It’s just like some people who adds tabasco to everything they eat (same goes for people to choose add chilli padi or sambal chilli), you just wanna get that extra kick and would rather be overly-stimulated than to feel bored, even for a moment.

For a while, your life is gonna seem great, you are never bored again! You are accomplishing more things with less time! You have finished reading 3 articles and found out that Jenny had gotten engaged through the internet by the time you had done with the movie, you had caught up with Jeremy over whatsapp what’s going on with his life while finishing up that work report.

But as time goes by, you realised you need to do more things at the same time to keep feel stimulated enough, to not feel that your life is dull. By the end of the many months or years later while keeping up with that habit, you are gonna realised you have been covering the surface of every ocean on earth without diving deep enough to find out what’s going on. You are gonna feel like you didn’t bond close enough with your loved ones because you were busy keeping up-to-date with your acquaintances online, or important information didn’t stick in your mind because you were busy jumping from tasks to tasks without giving enough focus and concentration.

So, this is gonna one of my new year resolution of the year- one thing at a time. If you are like me, hope you will make this one of your own too.

This too shall pass

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Sometimes, the problem you have on hand seems too big- so big that you couldn’t see anything else.

It feels like this humongous balloon that flew right into your face, and no matter what you do, all you can see is this balloon, even though you know deep down how fragile and insignificant a balloon is- the thinness of it’s material, and the gigantic size is just merely filled with air. What is deceptive is its the bright and intense colour. You knew it’s filled with nothingness, but you still panicked when it stuck right in your face.

You stare and you stare at this bright colour in your face, thinking this is your whole and only world right now- a huge, big problem in your face. There are things going on besides this inconsequential thing, but you cannot see anything else because you choose to let it momentarily blind you.

Now we may all get astound when it first happen, but it’s up to you to choose to notice the fact that a tiny needle is gonna do the trick- this too shall pass.

Chasing after your dreams isn’t for the faint-hearted

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While there are so much to gain, there is so much to lose.

It’s not just about the money, not just about the time. It’s those moments you doubt yourself in spite of the tremendous effort you had put in, the criticism from the world that tells you how much you are doing wrong, and situations going south when you really need them to go right so you can start believing in yourself again.

If this isn’t about that something dear to your heart, you could have tell yourself oh well, this isn’t for me. Let me try something else. No, this will be as heartbreaking as your soulmate telling you no babe, this is all wrong, we are not meant for each other.

This why some of us worked for other people’s dream. This is why we rather have a to-do list of the things we need to check off at work, then go home to watch the telly and call that contention. Less hope, less devastation.

But if you devote yourself to your passion, if you have the guts and bravery to walk on this path, the payoff will be immensely satisfying. I’m not saying there will always be a happily-ever-after fairytale ending, but the journey will make you strong, determined, courageous. Willing to bare yourself and show the world what you like, and what you think you might be good at, risk yourself of the possibility of being slammed by hateful feedbacks- you are gonna come out of the other end of the tunnel a different but better person.

So are you willing to take the chance?

Things I will tell myself in my 20s

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Now that I’m not as young and carefree as I was in my 20s anymore, there’s a couple of things I wish I’d have knew back then- things that would make me less anxious and uptight, and things I haven’t done as often that would have repercussion for me in the older age- like now.

Nobody scrutinise every tiny detail that you do

Stop feeling so anxious all the time! Nobody is watching you like a hawk, dissect your every move and analyse it like the stock market. Nobody’s perfect, neither can you please every living thing on this earth. If they are upset about you just being yourself- too bad for them.

Don’t seek validation from the outside, make peace of your doings from the inside

What you think about your own doing is more important that what others think. Just like the story of The Man, the Boy and the Donkey“Please all, and you will please none.” Instead of seeking approving nods from the others, ask yourself how do you feel about it. If you feel just fine- proceed. What others say are just merely noise.

Stop judging and preaching

One of the reason for being this way is because you are insecure within. Stop looking outwards- start looking inwards and reexamine what needs to be improve or altered.

You can blame everyone else for everything, but that’s still not gonna get you anywhere

So stop focusing on blaming, starting planning and executing.

20s is not too old, not succeeding in your 20s does not mean failure for your rest of your life

I know every Chinese new year gatherings, your relatives are going to ask how are you doing, then take the chance to humbly brag how much better their children are (than you), and that’s not gonna make you feel great. Don’t let them discourage you, you are not there not doesn’t mean you will never get there- ask Jon Hamm, Lincoln or JK Rowling.

It’s okay even if you are still exploring around to find out what your passions are, finding the right path is more important.

Rome is not build in a day, neither is your success

Stop measuring the rate of your success year by year, month by month. Progression will not always be a linear graph. So stop counting, just continue doing what you are doing in the right direction.

Don’t blame the seniors for not being as sharp and alert as the you

All of us wants to be bright, observant, attentive, but unfortunately (1) it’s not last forever, and (2) sometimes you tried your best to be but still your mind can just get away from you. And, it doesn’t get better with age. In fact, it goes the opposite direction. So don’t keep thinking they don’t try hard enough. They do, so it won’t hurt anyone to give them a little patience and the benefit of the doubt.

Build good financial habits

I know it’s the time to enjoy life when you just gain your freedom as a young adult, but it’s doesn’t hurt to save a tiny piece of cake from your monthly income to prep for the future. Learn about savings, investment etc. Trust me- it’s way better than panicking when you reach the big 3.

Your beauty is not going to last forever if you continue to take it for granted

It’s not pretty when the crow’s feet start appearing. A little care a day goes a long way. Start early, you’ll thank me later.

. . . . .

Well, there you go- those are the random advices I wish I knew when I was younger. But what’s done is done, so if you stumble into this post while you are still young, hope you may find some of them helpful.

Have you ever stared at the stars, geniuses and the talented thinking- why wasn’t I born that way?

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So that you know, you could be rich, famous, and basically breeze through life without struggling to put in effort into things that you do, to make ends meet?

I’m gonna let you in a little secret- I thought about it all. the. time. (Yes, I am the green-eyed monster, who is pretending to be someone else that writes a motivational blog.)

The truth is- once in a while, everyone envy that person who has got-it-all (probably most of the time for some people out there), but what we do not seem to realise is- once upon a time, the person who has-it-all struggled too. Once upon a time, the capable and talented person you see now had to train, practise, learn, put it tremendous amount of effort to attain what he/she has right now. And along the way, I bet he/she met his/her fair share of nasty people calling them names and criticised them, predicting a doomsday scenario for whatever he/she strives so hard at. And some, I bet, even had their dear ones discouraged them, which hurts even more than any random people putting them down.

Maybe there are brilliant people who are born both smart and with a silver spoon in their mouth, but most of the people clench their teeth and power through the hard times to get where they are.

So, while it’s okay and understandable to be that little green-eyed monster once in a while, but, keep it mind what they had to go through, and start making your own history instead.

What if what you are doing is not what you want to do for the rest of your life?

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The scary part isn’t what if you are, the scary part is what if you are and you don’t have any plans to stop doing that in time to come.

I know- not all our dreams are easily attainable, and not all of us are born with the flair to be outstandingly great at what we love to do. Some of us (like me), need more practise, training, or even schooling, to achieve the kind of excellence before we actually can make a living out of what we love.

But that shouldn’t discourage us from even starting to plan to get there eventually. We could live a hundred years old- do you really want to find the easy way out, fairing ordinarily at a medicore job, getting vaguely tickled and count them as orgasm for the rest of our lives?

No, wait– do not stop reading just yet.

Don’t pounce from your seat and quit your job just yet! I know there’s quite a number of gurus who repeatedly encourage to quit your job now! Switch immediately and not another minute to lose!

I’m not gonna say that (and please definitely don’t do just that), because as much as we all wish we can make a million bucks instantaneously doing what we love, there are duties and responsibilities that cannot be shun, and not all of us can get into the position of our dream instantly, because what we are doing right now might not be affiliated with the one that we actually yearn for.

But guys, if none of the obstacles have stopped us from dreaming, then none should stop us from planning. We might take a while to get there, but remember- we could live up to a hundred years.

I don’t want to live my life wishing how I want to be there, I want to live my life planning and taking actions to get there so that I know eventually I’ll get there.

So I implore you- plan to reach your dream.

I finally updated after MIA for so long!

After slacking for so long, I decided to crawl back into the arms of my ex-lover- writing.

It has always been at the back of my mind, but you know, I was tempted by the usuals- the telly, wine and dine, laying on the floor scrolling mindlessly through Facebook and Pinterest (naively believing I will carry out and accomplish any of the recipes).

But after dabbling at the dark (and lazy) side for a good 2 years, I decided I should stop. Writing is good for my soul, I always feel good after. It’s always the pre-writing phase that got a dreading a bit (like before working-out you know that’s the last thing you wanna do right now, but after it’s done you thought to yourself “how could I think that?”)

That being said, I know I can never shake off that feeling (not at least for a while), so I just have to get my lazy mind thinking and inspired so I have something to write.

2018 resolution: Write 2 times a week. Wish me determination!

If anything you want can come true in 5 year’s time, where will you want to be?

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Close your eyes, give it some though, really.

When I close my eyes, I see myself kicking up my legs on a wooden table, my palms tuck behind my head. Nope, it wasn’t any fancy table. In fact, it was just the type of table you see at any kopitam. But it is the view that made the difference.

I am on a balcony of a restaurant overlooking a panoramic view of the beach, with the ocean waves crashing softly onto the sand so fine it can slip through the crack of your fingers even when you press them firmly together. And in my mind I know it- I am the owner of this beautiful restaurant together with this humble, unpretentious resort.

That vivid image came to my mind when I break down the walls in my mind with logical reasoning and thousand of repetitive question of “how can I get there with where I actually am right now?”

And here I am, day after day I sat at least 8 hours in the office, dealing with numbers, spreadsheet and absolutely anything else that could come in relations with a beach that feels like heaven and a calming mind.

Why? Maybe you will ask me, why would I want to torture myself by imagining the impossible and putting myself in agony of the fact that it may well be unattainable in my lifetime?

Because (1), it may well be achievable, and (2) you can start making plans for it.

In our logical mind, it’s hard to put two-and-two together, given where we are right now and where we want to get. In the world without the right vehicle, you are right, we can’t get from Singapore to England, in our mind it may just come up as error 404. But guess what? That’s how’s cars and planes are invented when we breakdown those barriers we build in our head, by our reasoning, by our parents’ upbringing, by the sociality sterotype.

And what we need are just plans, which serves as vehicle getting from here, to there.

So, to the current you that happen upon my rambling, where will you want to be after you divorce the walls and barricades in your head?